Overprotective
by Saigo no Hajime
Summary: Rukia is sick of how overprotective the men in her life have become. Can she prevent them from interfering in her new mission? Or will the men succeed in keeping her safely within their grasp?
1. Overprotective

Title: Overprotective  
Author: Saigo no Hajime  
Summary: Rukia attempts to prevent the men in her life from spoiling her first command mission by being overprotective. Set an undetermined number of years in the future. Assumes Ichigo has taken a position with the Gotei 13 and is living in Seireitei.  
Pairings: IchiRuki (assumes they have had a physical relationship for some time prior to this story)  
Authors Note: This is my first time ever writing a humor story of any sort. I tried my best to keep everyone in-character, but if I failed in places, I apologize ahead of time! Please let me know what you think! All reviews and constructive criticism will be read repeatedly, cherished, and responded to.

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When Rukia was given her first mission as a seated officer, she had to practically fight off the overprotective men surrounding her. All of them wanted to accompany the team, just to make sure that she would be safe. Rukia, however, was determined to prove her strength and capabilities as a leader. She decided she would do anything she needed, anything at all, to make sure she would be allowed to run the mission on her own.

When Ichigo told her flatly that he was coming whether she liked it or not, she smiled and gave him a chaste kiss. Then she whacked him on the head and declared that he wasn't allowed anywhere near her bed until he agreed to stay behind. Ichigo told her smugly that she wouldn't be able to go without sex for long either.

He sourly gave in to her demands after she locked him outside in the rain for the night, while she painted Chappy in bright pink and orange colors all over the walls and ceiling of his barracks dorm. Shivering violently, dripping from head to toe, and staring in horror around his room, he promised not to follow her on her mission.

Renji was a little more sensible than the orange-haired substitute. At least, that's what he told himself. He made no mention of the mission in his conversations with Rukia, making it seem as if he had no intention of interfering. But then he spent hours together with Hisagi, Kira, and Hinamori, plotting elaborate ways of avoiding detection by his childhood friend as he snuck after her during the mission. Unfortunately for Renji, Hinamori sympathized with Rukia, and deliberately let slip his plans in front of Matsumoto. The busty fukutaichou, of course, went straight to Rukia.

That night, when Renji was getting ready for bed, he opened a special little box that he kept well hidden. Hidden from everyone except his oldest friend, at least, and that shared knowledge turned out to be a major mistake. Instead of the worn and patched stuffed gorilla that he had been clutching upon his first arrival in Rukongai all those years before, he found a threatening note. It was written in dripping red ink and signed by a lopsided bunny wearing a crooked smile. Needless to say, he went straight to Rukia and promised not to carry out his plans of pursuit.

Byakuya took the middle line. He said nothing to Rukia from the day the mission was assigned until her departure three days later. Rukia walked up to the gate biting her lip anxiously and hoping her brother wasn't as angry with her as he seemed. As a result, she nearly fell over in surprise when Byakuya stepped out of the shadows, fully equipped and ready to leave. He solemnly informed her that he would be accompanying the team. When Rukia, disappointed, asked him if she had been replaced as team leader, Byakuya quirked an eyebrow and told her no. Realizing then what his intentions were, Rukia thanked her lucky stars that she was early.

By the time the rest of the team arrived, Rukia had, with much bowing and eloquent speech, convinced her brother to go home. "How devastating to the Kuchiki name would it be," she had asked slyly, "if the unranked foot soldiers came to believe that the newest Kuchiki officer was incapable of a solo command? How much shame would it bring to the family if we are treated with disrespect as the result of my supposed failings?"

Byakuya had been rendered silent, his lips twitching in irritation as he tried in vain to summon a counter argument that would both deny her words and allow him to accompany the mission. Finally he had given in, but as he left, his stride was oddly jarring as he struggled to contain his frustration.

To Rukia's surprise, it was meek little Hanatarou who was the hardest to get rid of. He had come bustling out the gate after the team, just as they were bidding farewell to Jidanbo.

"Rukia-san, Rukia-san, wait for-oof!" As he called and chased after them, his steadying grip on his zanpakuto hilt loosened, and the sheathed weapon tangled up between his legs. He was sent crashing to the ground in a heap, but immediately pushed himself up onto his knees and cried, "Please take me with you, Rukia-san! You might need a healer while you're out!"

Rukia turned to him, utterly exasperated with overprotective men by this point, fully intending to give the boy a stern lecture on matters of trust. One look at his face nearly did her in, though. He was crouched on the ground with his head hanging, his shoulders slumped, and his eyes pleading. He looked for all the world like a whipped puppy begging his master for a kind word. Before she even realized what she was doing, Rukia was at his side pulling him gently to his feet. It was on the tip of her tongue to say he could come, when she was finally able to snap back to her senses.

Biting her tongue fiercely to force the words down, all that passed her lips was a quiet, "Hanatarou…"

The timid boy clutched at her arm with both hands, wordlessly pleading for permission. Rukia sighed, then summoned her determination and said, with a little reluctance, "Hanatarou, we already have a healer with us."

The boy's face fell instantly and he let go of her arm. "O-oh," he stammered. "Al-alright…Rukia-san."

"Sorry Hanatarou," Rukia told him, patting his head before she turned away. "Maybe another time."

The disappointed healer remained standing there, his posture dejected, until the team disappeared from sight. Then his head jerked up and, with a surge of energy, he scampered back into Seireitei. By slipping into the sewers, it didn't take him at all long to reach his final destination: a small room in the 13th division filled with comfortable furniture, which overlooked a koi pond and a surrounding rock garden. It was normally a very peaceful place, and it was, in fact, the very room Ukitake-taichou always came to when he wanted to escape the noise of his argumentative third seats. This time, however, the occupants were not at all peaceful.

Kuchiki Byakuya was staring out at the pond, and the fish were undoubtedly grateful that looks could not kill, as his thunderous expression appeared capable of vaporizing everything it gazed upon. His lips were forming silent words, and Hanatarou's mouth curled into a small smile as his skill at lip-reading allowed him to pick out the words 'out-witted', 'little sister', and 'disrespectful brat'.

Abarai Renji was sitting on the floor in the corner of the room. He was hunched protectively over a small box about the size of a cat. Hanatarou blinked in surprise at himself when his mind supplied the word cat as a comparison for the box's dimensions. Then, looking closer, he realized why he had. There was a pinch of black fur trapped under the seam of the lid. He shook his head, deciding not to question what was inside.

The sound of two sets of coughs caused him to turn toward the other two people present in the room. Kurosaki Ichigo was curled up under a blanket on the couch. His nose was bright red and he was sniffling constantly. On the floor beside him was a trash can filled almost to the brim with used tissues. As Hanatarou watched, he pulled the blanket over his head and groaned. The night out in the rain had not done Ichigo-san any good at all.

Ukitake-taichou, sitting in the plump armchair next to the couch, was watching the antics of those around him with eyes that were sparkling with amusement. Then he caught sight of Hanatarou and sat up straight. "Oh, Hanatarou-kun, you're back!" he exclaimed eagerly.

All three of the others turned to look at Hanatarou also, and the timid healer shied back from the attention. Ichigo had pulled the blanket back down at the sound of Ukitake's greeting, and now he spoke up, his voice hoarse and nasally. "Did you do it? Did it work? Were you able to plant it on her?"

Stepping forward again, his expression solemn, Hanatarou held out his fist. He opened it slowly, a proud smile spreading across his face. Resting on his palm was a small black electronic device. On one side was a pronged plug, and on the other was a slowly flashing red light. Renji gave a whoop of triumph and Ichigo grinned in delight. Even Byakuya gave the healer boy a nod of approval, his expression lightening ever so slightly.

Ukitake shook his head in amusement and took the device from Hanatarou, carrying it over to a special computer he had commandeered from the 12th division for this very purpose. "I wouldn't have given Kuchiki the mission if I didn't think she could handle it," he said with a chuckle. "But I won't deny I'm concerned as well. If she won't let any of you follow her, let's just keep track of her progress from here, shall we?"

With that the whole group leaned forward eagerly as they waited for the tracking device's camera to activate and transfer its picture to the screen of the computer. The instant it appeared, however, they reared back in dismay. Rukia's furious face filled the entire screen. "Nice try," she growled. "But you will pay when I get home."

The last thing the camera transmitted was Rukia's hands as she blasted the tracking device to pieces with her kido. The men at home could only slump their shoulders and admit defeat. For now, anyway. But next mission? We'll see...


	2. Mission: Byakuya

**Chapter Title**: Mission: Byakuya  
**Disclaimer:** I realize that I forgot to put this in the first chapter, so here it is. I do not own Bleach, Kubo Tite does.  
**Author's Note**: Well, if any of the readers from the first chapter are still around, I'm sorry for the wait! I originally intended for the first chapter to be a oneshot, so it was tough to think of how to continue it. Again, I tried my best to keep everyone in-character, but if I failed in places, I apologize ahead of time! Please let me know what you think! All reviews and constructive criticism will be read repeatedly, cherished, and responded to. Also, there will be another Author's Note at the end, which I hope everyone will read after the chapter.

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Byakuya brushed furiously at the shoulder of his uniform, trying to rid himself of the spiderweb clinging to it. He gave a disgusted growl when the sticky substance tangled itself up on his fingers, and he hurriedly wiped it off onto the grass. When it finally came off, he looked up, still grimacing and promising himself a nice long bath when he returned to the Seireitei. Of course, he reminded himself, I don't know when that will be. Who knows how long Rukia intended to continue this training mission.

Sighing in resignation, he peered through the bush in which he had concealed himself. The branches were thick and concealing, and the three-pointed saw-toothed leaves were full and green. The tree beside him, covered with a thick hairy vine, completed the perfect hiding spot. There was no way Rukia, or the new recruits she was leading, would be able to see him. He leaned forward to focus on the small group camping in the meadow in front of him.

Instantly he froze. The bush had moved slightly as he did, and now Rukia was glancing over. Byakuya stayed as still as he could, hardly daring even to breath. There was no way she could see him, not with such thick cover. And she couldn't sense him either, of that he was certain. He was wearing a heavy cloak that completely concealed his spiritual energy.

When he had heard of this mission, he had known she would do everything in her power to prevent him from following. His only option had been to make sure she didn't know he was there, and that meant asking Urahara for help. He tensed at the thought of the infuriating merchant. Oh, he had helped, loaning Byakuya the cloak, and it had worked perfectly. It was now a full two days into the mission and Rukia still hadn't noticed his presence. But now Byakuya was indebted to the man, and that was utterly humiliating.

Even worse were the pictures. Urahara had shown him the cloak immediately after he had arrived to ask for a way to conceal his energy completely. In fact, it had been so near at hand that Byakuya had wondered if the maddening ex-captain had been waiting for him to come. And when Byakuya had seized the opportunity and agreed to rent the cloak, Urahara had declared that the price for the rental was not in money. He had immediately whipped out a camera and a huge bin of costumes.

Even now the thought of the pictures brought a red tinge to Byakuya's cheeks. Who knew what Urahara intended to do with them. But he was also quite proud of himself. It was a sign of how devoted a brother he was that he was willing to agree to the price set. Surely Hisana would have been appreciative of the sacrifices he was making for their sister!

He breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed as Rukia turned away from his hiding place. She hadn't spotted him. He would have to be more careful from now on, though. That had been far too close! He shuddered slightly at the thought of what Rukia would do to him if she caught him spying. No, not spying. That was far too demeaning and undignified for a noble and a captain such as himself. He was observing her, and supervising the mission to be certain nothing would go wrong. He was doing it from a distance, of course, but that was only to keep the recruits from getting nervous in the presence of a captain.

Suddenly Byakuya frowned, staring at Rukia across the field. What in Soul Society was she doing? She appeared to be digging, but why? She dug in one spot for a few minutes, depositing the dirt behind the hole. Then she stood the shovel in the hole and moved several yards to the side. Picking up a second shovel from where it was lying in the grass, she repeated her actions. In about ten minutes, she had created a large circle of holes, with mounds of dirt forming a second circle inside it. Then she directed the recruits to choose a hole and shovel, and keep digging.

They obeyed, though with far less enthusiasm. As they worked, Rukia continued to circle around, apparently making sure the dirt got placed in the piles. She didn't let them stop until the piles were almost four feet tall and the holes were just as deep. In the meantime, Byakuya was shaking his head in bewilderment. He had no idea what she was doing. This wasn't a training exercise he was familiar with.

Finally, Rukia called a halt and waved the recruits away from the circle. Stepping forward, she unsheathed her zanpakuto and called its name. Byakuya felt a smile flicker briefly across his face, and he chided himself immediately for losing control of his expression even for a moment. But his sister's shikai, with the pure white blade and ribbon, and the pristine clearness that filled the air around the blade were so incredibly beautiful. It was a shame she preferred kido and didn't release her blade often. Every glimpse he had of it, he savored.

She moved to the first dirt pile and plunged the tip of her sword into it. Byakuya didn't even have time to wonder what she was doing when she called out the third dance of the blade. The entire pile froze in an instant, creating a dome of clear, glittering ice. She pulled the sword out of the ice with no more effort than she would have used had it still been dirt. Byakuya nodded in approval of the grace in the gesture. The nod quickly turned into a shake of his head as he realized he still had no idea what she was doing. He watched in growing confusion as she gradually made her way around the circle and repeated the freezing process with each of the other piles of dirt.

When she finished she directed the recruits back into the circle, where they stood back to back, facing out toward the ice domes. They stayed still for a moment, obviously listening as Rukia spoke. Byakuya, frustrated that he couldn't hear what she was saying, leaned farther into the bush. She was saying something directly to one of the recruits. He strained his ears to try to hear.

Then suddenly he was throwing himself backwards out of the bush, desperately trying to stay out of sight. The instant Rukia stopped speaking, every recruit had lifted their hands and their voices to cast the Shakkahou spell. All but one of the recruits had hit their target, melting the ice and sending the resulting thick, muddy water splashing into the holes behind. But the one boy Rukia had been speaking to had missed his target, and his fireball was flying towards the very bush Byakuya was hiding in.

He rolled back to his feet, crouching to stay hidden behind the brightly burning plant. Then he swore as he realized the recruits, and Rukia, were running over towards it. He shunpoed frantically to another tree not far to the side, hoping they hadn't seen him. But no, they were just trying to put out the fire before it spread. He'd been lucky that the recruit was so incompetent. Not only had his aim been bad, but his power was poor as well. The fire wasn't overly powerful, and he'd had plenty of time to move away before the bush had really gone up in flames.

He started to relax only to realize that they were moving in his direction again. He shunpoed again, trying to curve away from them while still remaining hidden in the foliage. The kept following. Why, he wondered, are they coming in this direction? They shouldn't be able to sense him, and he knew they hadn't seen him. They weren't calling for him to stop or identify himself. They were calling –.

Oh. They were frantically shouting, "Water! We need water! Bring it from the stream!"

Byakuya looked down at his feet and groaned at himself. He was following the course of a streambed. The recruits weren't following him, they were following the water. Quickly he glanced around, trying to find a hiding place that wasn't right next to the stream. There wasn't one, though. All the trees and bushes were growing around the water, and the field was otherwise bare. Except for the lone remaining ice dome that the errant recruit had missed. Throwing himself into as quick a shunpo he could, he shot across the meadow, hoping Rukia would be looking away just long enough for him to get behind it.

For a moment he thought he had succeeded, and he pressed himself against the ice. Then suddenly there was no ice, only thick mud and freezing water. He was propelled backwards, his feet sliding on the wet earth, and the muddy water showered over him. Even after the force of the spell died down, he staggered backwards on his own for several more steps. Suddenly his feet left solid ground and he plunged downwards into a pool of thick filthy water.

He was so surprised that it took him a moment to work his feet under him, and he plunged completely under for a moment. He came up spluttering, his feet finally finding purchase, and he realized he had fallen into one of the holes the recruits had dug. He struggled to wipe the gooey mess from his face, and only succeeded in smearing it further. When he finally was able to clear his eyes enough to see, his breath caught in dismay. Rukia was standing directly in front of him, her arms crossed in front of her chest. She was smirking in delight as she stared down at his messy predicament.

"Fancy meeting you here, Nii-sama," she said triumphantly. "Is this really the right place for a bath, though?"

His eyes narrowed, and he suddenly wondered if it was worth Hisana's approval to deal with this insolent demon of a girl. But he had no time to say anything before Rukia whipped out a camera from the folds of her shihakusho. He could barely restrain a horrified gasp as he recognized the device. It was the same one Urahara had used!

Rukia stroked it happily and announced, "Only three pictures left on this film. I can't wait until these are developed! I especially liked the one of the bunny suit, Nii-sama! The pink really suited you! And that incredibly cute cotton ball tail, and those marvelous ears!"

Byakuya felt his face burning with humiliation as he remembered that costume, and how hard it had been for Urahara to contain his laughter long enough to snap the shot. Immediately, Rukia's hand shot up to aim the camera and took three rapid shots of her brother standing chest-deep in filthy water, his hair slicked back and caked with muck. Then she gave him a cheerful smile and started to turn away. Only a second later, she snapped her fingers and ran over to her pack, pulling out a box of oatmeal. She scampered back to where Byakuya still stood frozen with humiliation in the water-filled hole.

"Here," she told him. "This'll help with the rash. Ichigo swears by oatmeal for stopping the itching."

Byakuya couldn't help but let his eyes widen at the thought that he was going to get an itchy rash on top of everything else. Rukia eyed him in surprise, then asked, "What, didn't you know you were hiding in poison ivy earlier? Well, don't worry, it'll only last for a week or two."

With that, she turned and led her recruits off to continue their mission, leaving Byakuya behind to consider the consequences of over protectiveness.

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Author's Note: Ok so as I said up in the first note at the top, this story was originally intended to be a oneshot. I continued it solely because reviewers asked me to. If I continue further, it will be more chapters like this one, with each individual guy facing off against Rukia. Thanks go to RukiLex for the idea! The thing is, I have other stories that I personally am more inspired to write right now. I'm certainly willing to continue this, but I'm only going to do it if I know there is reader interest. So, if you enjoyed this and want more, please review and let me know! I only need one person saying they want more to convice me (though the more people who say it, the more enthusiastic I'll be, which means a hopefully quicker update). Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'd love to hear from you!


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